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Sometimes our pride gets the better of us. Rather than asking for the help we need, the ego kicks in and stops us reaching out for assistance.
It’s an interesting phenomenon and one we’re probably all a little guilty of from time to time, especially when it comes to work.
But ultimately, that pride is self-defeating. It stands in the path of our success, stops us from learning and gets in the way of achieving the actual goal.
I’ve seen this happen time and again and been guilty of it myself, but it begs the question why don’t we ask for the help we need and how do we move beyond ingrained behaviour that’s standing in our way?
Is it a feeling of inadequacy?
We all like to feel like we’re capable and smart, but sometimes the idea of asking for help plays on the fear that perhaps we’re not as savvy as we think we are.
Maybe we don’t know everything or we’re not the expert in that particular arena. Well, reality check … no person can be the master of all things.
Personal growth in both your career and greater life is about learning and embracing the growth mindset. It’s about being inquisitive, curious and open to new discoveries.
That means fostering the habit of asking for help – whether you’re new to the game, established, highly experienced or even a leader.
As the saying goes, if you’re the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. You want to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you and tap their wisdom by asking for help.
Does the vulnerability make you uncomfortable?
Yes, asking for help can make you feel vulnerable. It’s an admission you need something from someone else.
But that vulnerability is not weakness. It is a sign of strength. It is the courage to admit you don’t have all the answers, and that you’re willing to learn something new.
In a team environment, that level of courage is extremely empowering, particularly if you are a leader.
It models behaviour that empowers every member to learn, make mistakes, strive towards something greater, and grow.
But what excuse would you have?
Now here’s where things get interesting … is your reluctance to ask for help actually masking a lack of discipline or lack of ambition that you don’t want others to see? In other words, is it an excuse?
Some fail or refuse to ask for help because if they did, they would have no more excuses as to why they are not achieving their goals, except for the lack of trying.
If something about that statement resonates with you, it’s time to revisit your motivators, ask yourself why you’re in this game, what you actually want, and what exactly success looks like to you.
Is it about the accountability?
Asking for help at work is also an accountability action.
If we don’t follow through after receiving some form of assistance, then we are not only letting ourselves down, but also those that offer their help.
Feels like a responsibility, doesn’t it? It should. But creating accountability is incredibly empowering. It galvanises us to take the action that we know we should.
Is it just plain old fear?
Ultimately, each of the things outlined above comes back to one common denominator – fear. Fear of inadequacy, vulnerability, failure, accountability, and perhaps even fear of success.
So my advice? Feel that fear and do it anyway. Because the benefits of seeking assistance far outweigh any potential risks involved.
Hands up if you need help
There are so many benefits in opening up and asking for help. When we allow ourselves to seek assistance, it:
- Creates an opportunity for creativity and for collaboration.
- Embraces the growth mindset of learning, curiosity, and further developing our skills.
- Establishes a formula and a key habit for success.
- Removes the barriers standing between us and our goals.
- Empowers our team to share, learn and develop alongside us.
- Allows us to be part of something bigger, greater and more exciting than we could possibly accomplish on our own.
Asking for help helps you do more. It helps you perform at your best. Rest assured others will help you pay it forward when they ask for your help.
Life and work are about playing a bigger game. And yes, along the way you will need help and you will need to become comfortable asking for that assistance. Why? Because it’s a game you cannot successfully master all on your own.
Manos Findikakis is the CEO of Agents’Agency.
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