The forgotten superpower for mental fitness

In a world and industry that is going through some rapid changes and uncertainty, mental health challenges are increasing due to factors like rising cost-of-living pressures, shifting work demands, and the ever-present sense of competition from new technologies.

As a result, many people are becoming more insulated and isolated. Ironically, the more we lean on technology to “stay connected”, the more disconnected we often feel. This growing isolation not only feeds stress and anxiety but also amplifies many underlying mental health challenges.

The longest-running study

Yet, there’s a powerful tool we often overlook: “Friendship”. Experts like Arthur Brooks and Oprah Winfrey highlight this in their book, Build the Life You Want, while Simon Sinek frequently references it in his discussions on leadership and connection.

In fact, the longest-running study on human happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, spanning over 80 years, found that “quality relationships” are the single most important factor for keeping people happy and healthy throughout life.

Far more than wealth or fame, it’s our friendships that truly sustain us. Further to this, other studies have shown that individuals with strong social connections have a significantly higher likelihood of living longer, healthier, and happier lives, with some research even indicating a 50 per cent increased chance of survival.

Friendship: A biological necessity

We are biologically wired to form meaningful connections. Social bonding releases oxytocin, the “feel-good” hormone, while lowering cortisol, the stress hormone. This cocktail of neurochemicals helps us feel secure and reduces stress levels. Essentially, having a strong circle of friends is a natural remedy for anxiety and emotional strain.

But real friendship isn’t just about sharing the good times; it’s about standing by each other during life’s challenges. At the recent Inspirational Women’s event in Western Australia, my wife, Lara Kempton, spoke about the pivotal role friendships have played during the most challenging periods of our lives. Having quality friends who can listen, offer advice, or simply share in your struggles creates a powerful buffer against the hardships of life.

Why friendships are declining

Despite their importance, friendships are on the decline in today’s digital era. While we’re more “connected” through social media and messaging platforms, we’re losing out on meaningful face-to-face interactions, the ones that matter most.

Research shows that 93 per cent of communication is non-verbal, including body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, leaving only 7 per cent to the actual spoken words. When we rely solely on texting or emails, we miss out on these vital elements of human connection.

Adding to this, more and more businesses are becoming “online only”, and work from home is becoming more and more popular, creating more isolation for some people. This is creating an increased demand for organised social groups, just so people can connect.

An example is my own Steak Sandwich Men’s Get Together, where I have personal seen an increase in men looking for a social group where they break their lonely cycle of eat-work-sleep-repeat, as they get limited opportunity to form meaningful relationships due to work isolation and demands.

This is important for, according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness is on the rise. In fact, loneliness is now considered as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The more we rely on virtual communication, the harder it becomes to engage in real-world interactions, perpetuating a damaging cycle of isolation and disconnection.

Friendships and professional success

What’s often overlooked is the powerful impact friendships can have on professional success. Studies consistently show that individuals with strong social networks are more productive, resilient and capable of handling stress. When we feel supported in our personal lives, we bring that confidence and energy into the workplace.

As leaders in the real estate industry, it’s essential to recognise that “mental fitness fuels professional performance”. In the book, The Resilience Shield, which I proudly mentor on, one of the key layers of resilience is relationships, particularly friendships that exist outside of work.

These non-work friendships offer a safe haven where you can be vulnerable, express emotions, and share both struggles and triumphs without the constraints of professional expectations.

Personal story: The power of monthly check-ins

On a personal note, I have a group of four close friends, and we make it a point to meet for lunch once a month (Dim Sum, my favourite). These monthly check-ins are a sacred space where we can talk openly about everything, from personal challenges to professional victories.

What’s most important is that it’s not just about supporting one another during tough times, it’s also about having people who celebrate your wins without judgement. True friendship involves both vulnerability and joy, creating a balanced and trusting relationship.

Cultivating quality friendships

Building and maintaining strong friendships, like any other worthwhile endeavour, requires intention and effort. Here are a few practical tips to strengthen your social network: