Top tips for handling rejection

It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve been in this industry or how successful you are, no agent likes being told the listing they’d hoped for has gone to someone else.

But the reality is, rejection is part and parcel of being in this industry and no agent can escape its sting.

Yep, rejection is as inevitable in this job as making phone calls, devising sales campaigns, and attending open homes.

Like all those other parts of this industry, handling rejection in a constructive way is something we can learn.

The struggle is real

I speak from personal experience when I make no bones about the fact that handling rejection is tough.

In fact, my wife Maria once sent me home from work for three days after noting my attitude shift when I found out I’d lost a listing to a competitor.

Turned out the loss of that listing wasn’t a personal affront to me. The other agent just happened to be in the right place at the right time. But boy I took it personally.

In fact, rejection was of the biggest barriers I personally had to overcome early in my career, and truth be told, I still struggle with it even now.

I’d actually argue it’s not something one ever truly gets over. There’s merit in the fact you feel that fear as it indicates you care.

There is, however, a way to manage rejection constructively and push through regardless.

Here are some of the strategies I’ve used to handle rejection, along with others I’ve learnt from some of the best in the business.

Reframing rejection

After more than 20 years in this industry and having worked alongside an incredible cohort of high-achieving agents, I believe we need to reframe our thinking when it comes to the concept of rejection.

Rather than seeing it as something to be feared, it should be viewed as an opportunity.

Why? Well, the more times we receive a no, the more we will ultimately receive a yes.

More noes comes from more networking, more prospecting, and more listing presentations. Those noes also give you the chance to seek feedback, hone your skill set, gain experience, and master your craft.

Ultimately, the fact you’ve sharpened your saw, learnt from past experience, and continued to put yourself out there results in more people saying yes.

It simply comes down to odds, as most million-dollar agents will attest. You only get to a high volume of yeses after encountering the inevitable noes. It is part and parcel of the job we are in.

Develop resilience

As rejection is simply part of this job, we must also look at ways to build resilience to cope with it.

And the best way to do that is to keep it in perspective by focusing on our wins, our strengths, and the big picture.

Rather than honing in on what you lost in that moment when the listing didn’t come to fruition, instead turn your attention to the recent wins you’ve enjoyed, the reasons people choose you (your strengths), and your goals for this month, quarter, or year.

Those goals, wins, and strengths give you an insight into the light at the end of the tunnel, and that’s where your focus needs to be.

Always seek feedback

As I mentioned earlier, rejection equals opportunity. One of the biggest opportunities it offers is the chance for self-improvement.

There will always be times you are rejected for no good reason – like the colour of your tie or the fact another agent just happened to be there at the right time.

But there will also be occasions when the rejection is because another agent was better than you in a specific area.

Perhaps your marketing plan for the property wasn’t up to par, maybe another agent had greater insight into the local market, or perhaps they were able to build better rapport by listening more closely to the client’s needs.

Seeking feedback allows you to identify your weaknesses, giving you the opportunity to work on and overcome them.

If you didn’t win the listing, I strongly encourage you to seek feedback as to why. And if it’s uncomfortable for you to ask personally, have a colleague or agency director seek that feedback on your behalf.

In real estate, we don’t lose, we learn. But only if we open ourselves up to asking about and discovering the things we don’t know.

It’s not personal

It’s all too easy to take rejection personally, but more often than not that “no” isn’t personal.

And this was one of the biggest and most challenging lessons that I’ll admit I had to learn.

Too often I would lose a listing, overthink it, catastrophise it, and convince myself it was the end of the world.

It wasn’t, and along the way I lost valuable time and energy when I should have been refocusing on the big picture, the wins, my strengths, and the ultimate goal.

The reality is, we cannot “win ‘em all”. No agent has a 100 per cent success rate. What the best of the best do, however, is alter the odds.

They make more phone calls, network with more people, experience more noes and learn from them along the way.

In doing so they create the opportunities that inevitably result in success.

Manos Findikakis is the CEO of Agents’Agency.